Desire is the key concept of this article, so, no apologies for the repetition!
Meditation I – Sturm und Drang
In every representation of the (my/ours) reality, some objects and facts stand out miraculously: the fact that I am here, now and the object that is my body.
I have always thought that my presence in the world is a mere fact present to myself, that my being among others, even better, among objects, is a relation purely subjective.
During those ruminations, I used to touch myself, feeling the present that is mine towards my conscience, connecting the dots of my being with those of the others of outer space, not mine. During those moments, I realized that I was alive and I was a sad object called a living being.
Among objects and beings – two different experiences. Each connection with those entities is a pure matter of sadness and desperation. Being among objects was a sign of mere mortality, here and now, the cold touch of the pure non-being; while, being among the beings was always a conflict, a fight for reproduction.
All my thoughts about myself and the world around me were conveyed to one point – the desire.
Desire – the lonely sing of the desperation
I (for not saying “we”) desire because of an innate instinct of reproduction. I have always thought that desiring was a mere human fact but with the following experiences I have realized that I was just a mammal.
The concept of love is the sweetener of the pure wild desire.
At the same time, I have noticed that love is an interesting experience: from one side, it shows our nature as human beings, from the other it shows our remote belonging to wild nature.
As human beings, we can think abstract and create concepts; therefore, we’ve created the concept of love to disguise the wild instinct of desire. At the same time, love represents the pure willingness to cooperate and support, typical in a lot of species on this planet: thus, we share this beautiful concept with all beings.
By referring to this brief reasoning, I admit my origin and the conflict that it is purely mine as a human being.
The paranoid impulse
We have explained how love doesn’t match completely with desire. The fact that we desire is not a matter of love, but instinct. For desire, I mean any attractions to the others being.
Almost our life is driven by desire. In every connection, we are unconsciously guided by the primordial lewd desire. This is not a negative vision of the life/world but a mere consideration of the nature of our being. As humans, we have developed the ability to sufferer without being afflicted by it; however, under the thick layer of our conscience, we know we are lost in the dark circle of instinct.
I won’t write more about that, I just give you time and space to think about your current situation together with that of your fellow people and living being.
The paramount conflict
In every connection/relationship we can see a latent conflict. I don’t mean that our life is based on conflict since our life is among others, however, as part of nature the answer is clear, implied.
How can we overcome this situation? Of course, for many, that is not an issue, their life is going well, full of love and happiness; but what about your inner being? how can we become real humans against wild desires and habits? Nature, instinct and wild habits are not the absolute negative, not at all; but they are impediments to the fulfillment of certain souls not able to overcome that inner and rooted dimension.
By overcoming the instinct we can be the owner of ourselves, successful and fulfilled.
This is/was just a meditation. The way? go and find that out by yourself.
I was still blind, but twinkling stars did dance Throughout my being’s limitless expanse, Nothing had yet drawn close, only at distant stages I found myself, a mere suggestion sensed in past and future ages.